The year China’s famous road-tripping ‘auntie’ found freedom

Sixty-year-old Chinese language grandmother Su Min had no intention of changing into a feminist icon.

She was solely attempting to flee her abusive husband when she hit the highway in 2020 in her white Volkswagen hatchback with a rooftop tent and her pension.

“I felt like I may lastly catch my breath,” she says, recalling the second she drove away from her outdated life. “I felt like I may survive and discover a lifestyle that I wished.”

Over the following 4 years and 180,000 miles, the video diaries she shared of her adventures, whereas detailing many years of ache, earned her tens of millions of cheerleaders on-line. They referred to as her the “road-tripping auntie” as she inadvertently changed into a hero for ladies who felt trapped in their very own lives.

Her story is now a success movie that was launched in September – Like a Rolling Stone – and she or he made it to the BBC’s record of 100 inspiring and influential girls of 2024.

It was a 12 months of huge moments, but when she needed to describe what 2024 meant to her in a single phrase, she says that phrase can be “freedom”.

As quickly as Su Min began driving, she felt freer, she advised the BBC over the telephone from Shenyang – simply earlier than she headed south for winter in her new SUV with a caravan.

Nevertheless it wasn’t till 2024, when she lastly filed for divorce, that she skilled “one other sort of freedom”.

It took some time to get there: it is a sophisticated course of in China and her husband refused to divorce her till she agreed to pay him. They settled on 160,000 yuan ($21,900; £17,400) however she remains to be ready for the divorce certificates to come back by way of.

However she is resolute that she does not need to look again: “I am saying goodbye to him.”

In her new life on the highway, Su Min’s responsibility is to herself.

Her movies largely function solely her. Though she drives alone, she by no means appears lonely. She chats along with her followers as she movies her journey, sharing what she has been cooking, how she spent yesterday and the place she’s going subsequent.

Her viewers travels along with her to locations they by no means knew they might lengthy for – Xinjiang’s snow-capped mountains, Yunnan’s historic river cities, glowing blue lakes, huge grasslands, countless deserts.

They applaud her bravery and envy the liberty she has embraced. They’d hardly ever heard such a uncooked first-hand account concerning the actuality of life as a “Chinese language auntie”.

“You are so courageous! You selected to interrupt free,” wrote one follower, whereas one other urged her to “dwell the remainder of your life properly for your self!”. One girl sought recommendation as a result of she too “goals of driving alone” and an awe-struck follower mentioned: “Mother, have a look at her! Once I grow old, I am going to dwell a vibrant life like hers if I do not get married!”

For some, the takeaways are extra pragmatic but inspiring: “After watching your movies, I’ve realized this: as girls, we should personal our own residence, domesticate friendships far and huge, work exhausting to be financially impartial, and spend money on unemployment insurance coverage!”

By means of all of it, Su Min processes her personal previous. A stray cat she encounters on the highway reminds her of herself, each of them having “weathered the wind and rain for years however nonetheless managing to like this world that dusts our faces”. A go to to the market, the place she smells chili peppers, evokes “the odor of freedom” as a result of all through her marriage spicy meals was forbidden by her husband who did not prefer it.

For years Su Min had been the dutiful daughter, spouse and mom – whilst her husband repeatedly struck her.

“I used to be a conventional girl and I wished to remain in my marriage for all times,” she says. “However finally I noticed that I received nothing in return for all my power and energy – solely beatings, violence, emotional abuse and gaslighting.”

Her husband, Du Zhoucheng, has admitted to hitting her. “It is my mistake that I beat you,” he mentioned in a video she lately shared on Douyin, TikTok’s China platform.

A highschool graduate, he had a authorities job within the water assets ministry for 40 years earlier than retiring, in keeping with native media experiences. He advised an outlet in 2022 that he beat his spouse as a result of she “talked again” and that it was “an atypical factor”: “In a household, how can there not be some bangs and crashes?”

Su Min married Du Zhoucheng “actually to keep away from my father’s management, and to keep away from the entire household”.

She was born and raised in Tibet till 1982, when her household moved to Henan, a bustling province within the valley alongside the Yellow River. She had simply completed highschool and located work in a fertiliser manufacturing unit, the place most of her feminine colleagues, together with these youthful than 20, already had husbands.

Her marriage was organized by a matchmaker, which was frequent on the time. She had spent a lot of her life cooking for and taking care of her father and three youthful brothers. “I wished to alter my life,” she says.

The couple met solely twice earlier than the marriage. She wasn’t on the lookout for love, however she hoped that love would develop as soon as they married.

Su Min didn’t discover love. However she did have a daughter, and that’s one cause she satisfied herself she wanted to endure the abuse.

“We’re all the time so afraid of being ridiculed and blamed if we divorce, so all of us select to endure, however the truth is, this sort of endurance shouldn’t be proper,” she says. “I later realized that, the truth is, it might have a substantial impression on kids. The kid actually does not need you to endure, they need you to face up bravely and provides them a harmonious residence.”

She considered leaving her husband after her daughter received married, however quickly she turned a grandmother. Her daughter had twins – and as soon as once more responsibility referred to as. She felt she wanted to assist look after them, though by now she had been identified with despair.

“I felt that if I did not go away, I might get sicker,” she says. She promised her daughter she would look after the 2 boys till they went to kindergarten, after which she would depart.

The spark of inspiration for her escape got here in 2019 whereas flicking by way of social media. She discovered a video about somebody travelling whereas residing of their van. This was it, she thought to herself. This was her manner out.

Even the pandemic didn’t cease her. In September 2020, she drove away from her marital residence in Zhengzhou and she or he barely seemed again as she made her manner by way of 20 Chinese language provinces and greater than 400 cities.

It is a choice that has actually resonated with girls in China. To her tens of millions of followers, Su Min provides consolation and hope. “We girls should not simply somebody’s spouse or mom… Let’s dwell for ourselves!” wrote one follower.

Lots of them are moms who share their very own struggles. They inform her that they too really feel trapped in suffocating marriages – some say her tales have impressed them to stroll out of abusive relationships.

“You’re a hero to 1000’s of ladies and plenty of now see the opportunity of a greater life due to you,” reads one of many high feedback on one among her most-watched movies.

“Once I flip 60, I hope I could be as free as you,” one other remark says.

A 3rd girl asks: “Auntie Su, can I journey with you? I am going to cowl all of the bills. I simply need to make a journey with you. I really feel so trapped and depressed in my present life.”

“Can you’ve got the lifetime of your goals?” Su Min contemplated over the decision. “I need to inform you that irrespective of how outdated you might be, so long as you’re employed exhausting, you’ll undoubtedly discover your reply. Similar to me, despite the fact that I am 60 now, I discovered what I used to be on the lookout for.”

She admits it wasn’t simple and she or he needed to dwell frugally on her pension. She thought the video blogs would possibly assist elevate some cash – she had no thought they might go viral.

She talks about what she’s realized over time and her newest problem – finalising the divorce.

“I have not received my divorce certificates but, as a result of the regulation has a cooling-off interval and we at the moment are in that interval.”

One among her followers wrote that the cash she paid her husband was “value each penny”, including: “Now it is your flip to see the world and dwell a vibrant, unrestrained life. Congratulations, Auntie – this is to a vibrant and fulfilling future!”

She says it is exhausting to break up as a result of “a lot of our legal guidelines in China are to guard the household. Girls typically dare not divorce due to household disharmony”.

At first, she thought that Du Zhoucheng’s behaviour would possibly enhance with time and distance, however she mentioned he nonetheless threw “pots and pans” at her on her return.

He has solely referred to as her twice in the previous couple of years – as soon as as a result of her freeway entry card was tied to his bank card and he wished her to return 81 yuan (£0.90). She says she hasn’t used that card since then.

Undeterred by the delay in securing a divorce, Su Min retains planning extra journeys and hopes to someday journey overseas.

She’s frightened about overcoming language obstacles, however is assured her story will resonate all over the world – because it has in China.

“Though girls in each nation are totally different, I want to say that it doesn’t matter what atmosphere you might be in, you should be good to your self. Be taught to like your self, as a result of solely whenever you love your self can the world be stuffed with sunshine.”

Extra reporting by Fan Wang in Singapore