I Want to Die but I Want to Eat Tteokbokki

For South Koreans, tteokbokki is greater than a snack. It is soul meals.

This candy and spicy dish made with chewy rice truffles is a staple of Korea’s avenue meals tradition and beloved by folks of all ages.

It is the meals college students flip to after lengthy faculty days, and as adults, one you search after a tough day at work.

So when readers got here throughout a ebook titled I Wish to Die however I Wish to Eat Tteokbokki in 2018, many have been instantly intrigued. Its sincere but playful title sparked curiosity, some questioning simply how a lot you will need to love tteokbokki to write down a whole ebook about it. Many have been quickly drawn to its uncooked honesty.

It turned an on the spot bestseller that was extensively mentioned and resonated deeply in Korea. This week, Baek Se-hee, the book’s South Korean author, died aged 35. The small print surrounding her loss of life stay unclear. The actual fact the Korean Organ Donation Company mentioned Baek had saved 5 lives by donating her organs, emphasised her want to assist others.

Her loss of life at such a younger age has introduced deep sorrow to readers who discovered consolation and understanding in her phrases. Social media and blogs have been flooded with tributes and private tales from these her books have helped, whereas information shops world wide reported her passing prominently.

At its coronary heart, the ebook is a report of Baek’s conversations together with her psychiatrist as she navigates dysthymia – a light however long-lasting sort of melancholy – and anxiousness issues. By means of these periods, she opens up about her each day struggles – equivalent to overthinking others’ opinions, obsessing over her look, and wrestling with self-doubt. Quite than analyzing scientific melancholy, she displays on the mild melancholy many can relate to.

What makes her story so compelling is its candour. She captures that delicate human contradiction of dwelling wearily with on a regular basis disappointment alongside the simultaneous want to maintain going. Similar to a comforting dish of tteokbokki on a troublesome day, her phrases supply heat and understanding, reminding readers that even in vulnerability there’s power.

• An inventory of organisations within the UK providing assist and data with a few of the points on this story is on the market at BBC Action Line. If you’re outdoors of the UK, you’ll be able to go to the Befrienders website.

One of many many younger folks the ebook resonated with is Jo Eun Bit, a 25-year-old scholar at Korea College in Seoul, who discovered it helped her navigate uncertainty about her future.

“All generations in Korea are inclined to measure themselves towards what others are doing and the achievements they’ve made, and that solely fuels competitors,” she mentioned. “However I appreciated this ebook as a result of it appears to ship the message that it is okay to not reside in line with the requirements set by society.

“Some of the memorable passages in her ebook is that I’m a one-of-a-kind being on this world, and that alone makes me particular. I’m somebody I ought to look after all through my life. The extra I look inside myself, the happier I imagine I’ll turn out to be.

“To me, this supplied consolation that it is okay to not be good, and on the similar time jogged my memory that I, too, am somebody who must be nurtured and cared for.”

The relentless competitors from faculty to the office, coupled with the stress to satisfy household and societal expectations, is leaving many younger South Koreans feeling disheartened. In a society nonetheless influenced by Confucian values equivalent to righteousness and obedience, psychological well being points stay closely stigmatised and plenty of expertise emotions of disgrace or social judgement.

Baek’s ebook inverted the notion that social success is the final word measure of a life effectively lived, brazenly addressing the psychological well being points many generally face and, in doing so, exhibiting readers that acknowledging your feelings is step one in direction of therapeutic.

Sangeun Lee, an elementary faculty instructor in Korea, instructed the BBC the ebook has held a very particular which means to her for that cause.

“With the rise of social media, we’re uncovered to different folks’s lives an excessive amount of, and it makes us more and more important of ourselves,” the 35-year-old mentioned.

“Being imperfect is pure for everybody, however seeing a lot of this type of info can really feel like an assault on your self, making you surprise if it is even okay to reside the way in which you do. This ebook inspired me to just accept myself as I’m.”

The ebook’s reputation has had a real-world affect, supporting many combating melancholy to hunt skilled assist. It has additionally introduced psychological well being points into public dialog – RM of BTS, the globally famend Ok-pop group identified for songs selling self-love, is amongst those that have shared the ebook on-line.

Baek’s pages have resonated far past South Korea. First printed in 2018, it has bought greater than 1,000,000 copies worldwide and been translated into 25 languages. Within the UK, it bought 100,000 copies inside six months of its launch.

It has struck a chord with younger girls and performed a big position in increasing the attain of Korean literature. Marianna Szucs, a secondary faculty instructor in London, instructed the BBC she felt a connection to it and deep sorrow at Baek’s loss of life.

“Her ebook tells you that should you really feel depressed or really feel like you’ve issues, you aren’t the one one. She had all kinds of issues, from tiny little issues to fairly daunting ones. I feel anybody who reads this ebook can discover one thing they’ll relate to.”

Seunghye Solar, director of the Korean Cultural Centre UK, mentioned “it’s extremely symbolic that Baek Se-hee’s voice has discovered resonance within the UK the place nice psychoanalysts like Freud and his daughter explored the human thoughts”, within the course of broadening the spectrum of Ok-literature and Ok-culture.

Her ebook tells a narrative that transcends generations and borders, sending a quiet however heat message to numerous anonymous readers world wide.

In the long run, the paradoxical title “I Wish to Die however I Wish to Eat Tteokbokki” could, actually, be one other manner of claiming, “I wish to reside.” Even in moments of deep despair, folks typically discover the power to hold on by means of small joys.

For her, that pleasure was tteokbokki, and it exhibits even the only pleasures in each day life can turn out to be a sustaining pressure.