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Everyone at the Musk v. Altman Trial Is Using Fancy Butt Cushions

content@helloomylife.com by content@helloomylife.com
May 13, 2026
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Everyone at the Musk v. Altman Trial Is Using Fancy Butt Cushions
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The ultimate stragglers testified on Wednesday within the Musk v. Altman trial. The witnesses generated few waves, except for the revelation that Microsoft has thus far spent over $100 billion on its partnership with OpenAI. Quite than deal with that, I wished to convey you a candid statement that my colleague Maxwell Zeff and I can’t cease speaking about after spending almost three weeks watching the trial.

The courtroom is affected by butt cushions.

A number of of the arduous, wood benches on the correct aspect of US district Decide Yvonne Gonzalez Rogers’ courtroom are reserved for OpenAI and Microsoft’s attorneys, executives, and different members of the protection. About 10 folks, together with OpenAI CEO Sam Altman and normal counsel Che Chang, have benefitted from thick black cushions—the plushest of them from the model Purple; $120 from Goal—that spare their butts from hours of sitting. Some cushions have rounded corners, whereas others are sq.. On Wednesday, Chang even put one behind his again, a much less frequent however not unprecedented transfer within the courtroom.

OpenAI President Greg Brockman and his spouse, Anna, have watched a substantial portion of the trial—and have each been prolific customers of pristine white pillows. Judging from the tags bursting from the seams, the pillows appear to be from the sleeping items model Coop, which sells a two pack of different down-filled throw pillows for $35.

On Wednesday, an OpenAI bodyguard carried a purple purse into the courtroom, with a pillow for every of the Brockmans. Anna gave her husband only a minute to undergo in pillow-less oblivion earlier than she discreetly handed one to him after which located her personal. I felt unhealthy for OpenAI chief futurist Joshua Achiam, who later took Brockman’s seat however wasn’t left with both of the pillows. (Achiam finally did receive one of many extra commonplace black cushions.)

OpenAI didn’t instantly reply to WIRED’s request for remark.

One longtime expertise lawyer informed WIRED that utilizing cushions or pillows is not precisely “customary,” however famous, “it isn’t completely out of left subject.” Personally, he mentioned, he has by no means seen attorneys use pillows or cushions throughout his trials, however then once more, he is “by no means been concerned in a trial that has lasted as many days as that one.”

The core litigators on this case sit in comparatively luxurious leather-based chairs, although a pair do present indicators of fraying, so possibly the padding isn’t as strong because it seems.

My final time on this courtroom for an hours-long stretch was in 2021, overlaying parts of the Epic Games v. Apple trial. However capability was restricted again then due to Covid considerations, so I had loads of room to stretch out. This time round, the courtroom has been crammed almost to its most capability—about 150 folks—together with bench seats for as much as 90.

I considered bringing my very own cushion roughly an hour into my first day of the trial on the finish of April, as a result of, properly, these benches are deeply uncomfortable. However I did not wish to come off as weak. Not one of the different two dozen or so reporters commonly in attendance—together with one who’s pregnant—appeared to convey cushions, a minimum of, initially. So I went via a run of six days with my backside and again getting sorer by the minute.

Final week, after a very brutal morning, I lastly determined to usher in some assist. I couldn’t discover the well-padded seat cushion meant for stadium bleachers, so I settled for a “cooling” cushion handed out on the steaming-hot outside venues on the Tokyo Olympics. About two seconds into utilizing it on Wednesday morning for the primary time, I dominated it counterproductive. It was too small and too skinny to supply any aid. My again obtained significantly confused when furiously typing notes about the Musk-inspired jackass trophy, which reportedly as soon as had its personal pillow.

4 hours in, I gave up on the pillow fully. However I seen one New York Instances reporter who finally caved, in addition to the courtroom artist—who has a very colourful cushion—remained seated on their pillows. Perhaps I’ll discover a higher treatment for subsequent week, when Gonzalez Rogers will hear arguments about potential penalties.

Maxwell Zeff contributed to this report.


That is an version of Maxwell Zeff’s Model Behavior newsletter. Learn earlier newsletters here.



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